So, as you and much of the world are aware, rapper/writer/producer/actor/entrepreneur/everything Jay-Z and singer/pretty-much-all-the-same-shit Beyonce, known here on out simply as "The Ultimate Power Couple," welcomed their daughter into the world just yesterday. And, in keeping with the absurd names celebrities have become forced to apply to their offspring, the two decided to name the girl Blue Ivy. Not the worst attention-grabbing naming celebrities have done (I'm looking at you, Apple Martin), but still strange nonetheless and prone to a number of hilarious observations. And, seeing as I specialize in the strange and hilarious, I've decided to present you with an onslaught of jokes dealing with the young Ms. Carter. Allow me to begin...
Eiffel 65 just climbed their way back to the top of the music game.
I was unaware that Jay-Z and Beyonce were cultivating a nemesis in their ongoing war against Batman.
This could be the first time in history that a duo decided to name their child after an unknown strain of marijuana.
Her first mixtape just dropped as I was writing this.
I wish I was there during the argument these two had about whether "Print" or "Ivy" would be the middle name. You can guess who was on each side.
I don't know who the next celebrity to give birth will be, but you can bet Kanye West will be by her side yelling "I'mma let you finish...but Beyonce gave her girl one of the best names of all time." Let's hope it isn't Taylor Swift.
Jay-Z should be prepared to crack a lot of guys in the face when they start making "I'm gonna plant my seed in Blue Ivy tonight" jokes.
Her second mixtape just dropped, and I'm hearing mumblings of a Grammy nod.
Can Blue Ivy and Willow Smith please get together and form a group called "Blue Ivy Growing On a Willow"?
That's all I've got for now, but I'm sure you've formulated some of your own by now. These could go on for years, let's be honest...
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